Episode 39 – Positive Psychology for Leaders: Unlocking Your Potential with Diana Lowe

You need to be a different leader for each person. One size fits all leadership is really not where we’re heading. It’s what we had in the past

The old paradigm is what we’re moving out of, and that’s not gonna fly.

Some people need more autonomy, some people need more equity, some people may need more of a relationship, and other people don’t.

It’s our job as leaders to constantly be developing ourselves so that we stay authentic, instead of, “this book told me to do this.”

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Show Outline

• 01:14 – Why Every Leader Should Be Different
• 07:45 – The Platinum Rule and Its Importance
• 10:03 – Cultivating Important Skills Of Leaders
• 15:41 – Embracing Uncertainty in the Digital Age
• 18:16 – How Do We Keep Our Leaders Engaged?
• 19:15 – Preparing for What’s Ahead
• 22:40 – The Five Factors That Drive Happiness
• 24:23 – Why did Diana Study Positive Psychology?
• 26:49 – How Do Teams Overcome and Develop Relational Connections?
• 30:10 – Knowing Your Purpose Within Your Work
• 36:07 – Leaning Into the Transition and Connecting With Diana Lowe

Quotes from the Show

“Every leader should be different from who they lead because everybody needs something different.”

“We can gain more empathy through reading.”

“We are very lucky if we can grow old. Not many people get that opportunity.”

“Focus on positivity and emotional intelligence in order to access creative solutions during difficult times.”

Notes from Episode 39

They discussed the 5 factors that drive happiness that were part of Gallup’s Research on the Global Rise of Sadness at 22:14;

• Money is one of the five because you got to put food on the table;
• Peopleas for human connection;
• Placeand everything related to geography, your personal interests – from home to community;
• Personal Health and everything related to physical, mental, and spiritual health;
• Purpose and living out your personal purpose.

Books Mentioned at:

• 05:35 – Racial Innocence by Tanya Katerí Hernández
• 21:15 – The Peace Index by Jeremie Kubicek

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Connect with Diana Lowe

• Blue Light Leadership | Website
• Diana Lowe – CEO and Chief EI Officer | LinkedIn
• Blue Light Leadership | LinkedIn
• Blue Light Leadership | Instagram

Diana Lowe is the CEO and founder of Blue Light Leadership, a leadership development company focused on educating, training, and coaching emotional intelligence for remote leaders. 

Diana works with Directors to C-Suite Executives in Fortune 500 companies to transform their communication, resulting in turning low-performing teams turning into highly productive and engaged teams. Her company focuses on using evidence-based research from positive psychology to combat the rising stress and anxiety in leaders today.

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Episode 39 – Full Transcript

Aaron Lee 0:00
Back in February, I turned the tables on my friend Brad over on the TOS FYI podcast. I joined him on his podcast to interview him. Well, in this episode, Diana turns the tables on me not completely. But this episode is less interview and more conversation. It felt like I was reconnecting with a longtime friend. So grab a cup of coffee, sit down on the couch with us and enjoy this conversation. Diana Lowe is the CEO of blue light leadership, a leadership development company focused on educating, training and coaching emotional intelligence for remote leaders. Her company focuses on using evidence based research from positive psychology to combat the rising stress and anxiety in leaders today, let’s dive in. Welcome to the new generation leader podcast, we’re giving you the tools you need to lead in the digital world ready to reach your true potential. This is the new generation leader podcast.

Diana Lowe 1:14
That is right in line with being a leader, like, if you’re attuned with your people, then you need to be a different leader for each person. And one size fits all leadership is really not where we’re heading. It’s what we had in the past, I like to think like, the old paradigm is what we’re moving out of, and the new paradigm is, that’s not gonna fly. Some people need more autonomy, some people need more equity, some people, they may need more of a relationship, and other people don’t. And so it’s our job as leaders to constantly be developing ourselves so that we stay authentic, instead of just this book told me to do this. Books are kind of one size fits all.

Aaron Lee 2:26
Yeah, and so many books, I’ve realized are teaching or sharing one premise, a whole book sharing one thought or idea. And so it is the combination or intersection of all of those thoughts and ideas that help us be the right leader at the right time. So those who are leading,

Diana Lowe 2:45
and one thing that I’ve thought about a lot, and some of the things that you sent me, like some of the questions that I was really thinking about, is that in our history, our western history of business, it really comes from one point of view of one type of person. So all the leadership books that we now read from this one type of archetype, let’s call it, and that works. And it’s interesting, but it doesn’t represent all the different kinds of leadership. And I think that’s what people are thirsty for. They want to know how people in different environments are leading and how they’re really touching people and how they’re growing people. And that’s really what connects us to that humanity. So it’s good that we do have this one genre of Forgive me for saying this, but like white male thought leadership, that is important. Absolutely. And other voices are important too with that, because I’m a Latina, and I think, How many books have I read by Latina leadership? Thought figures? I’m not sure I’ve read one. And if I have, it might have been from the acting realm, like a biography from somebody who’s not necessarily in business. So that to me, I think is intriguing. And I think as we grow and develop and morph our leadership for younger people, it’s going to change naturally. And I think the change is good to hear the different voices.

Aaron Lee 4:13
I think, you mentioning pop culture or the arts, or which example did you use?

Diana Lowe 4:21
So I would say, like from actors, like Eva Longoria or Jessica Alba, who are Hispanic or we hear about business from them, but they’re really in the entertainment business. It’s still business, but not necessarily corporate business.

Aaron Lee 4:35
You talked about getting ideas or reading voices from entertainment, and I see that and as a white guy, I celebrate that when my girls were younger. The lane of Avalon was huge. The first time we went to Disney World, they were big into Elena, and Elena was actually at Disney World. Not all of the princesses have always been so diverse but does He was welcoming those different faces so that kids could see themselves in one of their Disney Heroes. And so it’s exciting for me to sit there and watch that, and to see the opportunity and to see the diversity and the way that we’re able to find ourselves and find someone to look at and hear from and one of the things I’ve been trying to do is hear from different voices. So Stacey Lee, unraveling the model, minority stereotype and an Asian American youth perspective. And I also ran across racial innocence, Latino, black, Latino bias. And so Tonya Hernandez, writing about that, it’s so important to hear from perspectives, whether or not they’re necessarily all things that we align with 100%. That doesn’t matter to me, it’s who can I hear from and learn from and understand, it’s not all about me,

Diana Lowe 6:03
I love I think you’re bringing up a really important point, which is something that I feel just generally pretty passionate about, I think a lot the divides from where we’re at right now. And this moment in history, right, is from the lack of reading. And if we read more, or if we insisted our children read more, in fact, studies show that we can gain more empathy, through reading, not watching a TV show, not watching YouTube. Because when you sit in a book and a good book, with somebody’s perspective, you sit in their brain, you feel the humanity of their issues of their problems. And I think that’s important just for humanity, touch, like just understanding that people are not like us, which is important, and good in different ways. But also, they are still like us, so that humanity and just building that empathy. And I think we have a long way to go, I think we’re working on it. We truly are. But I think it was, I want to say Bhutan, don’t quote me on this. So I have to look this up. But I think Bhutan is one of the world’s most empathetic countries. And it’s because they have a high literacy rate, because they’ve read a lot. So this is I think, important when we see violence and media, or in our environment, I think we can change this with reading. So simple, right?

Aaron Lee 7:25
Absolutely. You know, one of my friends and fellow coaches sent a couple of us an email this morning forwarded from one of his clients, and it was talking about the platinum rule. Now, the golden rule is such a foundational component. I think, if I’m remembering right, in multiple Lobel religions, of doing for somebody else, what you want done for you. And my reply to them was, the platinum rule isn’t antithetical to any of those religious perspectives. But we’ve so distorted the intent of the golden rule, by being selfish, and only thinking about things our way that we’ve made the Golden Rule more about us than about other people. So we’ve had to recreate the script and create the platinum rule so that we can become unselfish.

Diana Lowe 8:18
So I think what happened is it was morphed into a soft focus rule. So what would I want to be done to this person? Well, the truth is, you’re not that person. So if you want, I want this, that’s not what they want. So that’s self focus. So really, the platinum rule is others focus, right? Let me figure out what do you want, and if we can meet in the middle, or maybe we can’t, but at least I’m thinking about, and that’s really what emotional intelligence about, for me, at least, I think we can make it academic II. That’s a medical word. So we can make it very theoretical. But when it comes down to it, it’s understanding like what we’re feeling in the moment, and a lot of us are so cut off from that, really understanding our emotions and how they are in our body, because we just cut it off. So what happens is, when we don’t have that awareness, we look through a filter, a cloudy filter, and then I see you, and I think you’re going through what I’m going through, instead of considering you have a different perspective. Maybe you’re having a great day, and I’m not. So you say something to me, it triggers me. And the person having a great day is like what, what’s happening? So, for me, I think emotional intelligence really comes down to that platinum role, like what’s going on in me that I notice? And then what can I notice about other people? And how can I meet them where they’re at instead of me putting myself into it?

Aaron Lee 9:43
Yes, it is. It’s such a opportunity in the workplace, in our leadership, to be able to step up and be so others focused that we can even recognize from our reading from our relationships and interactions that somebody else on the other side One of us might have a different perspective than we have. And so that is such an important skill to cultivate and develop and pay attention to, for current leaders and for future leaders.

Diana Lowe 10:12
So I don’t know, I saw that you coach. So I’m guessing you coach one on one. And I don’t know if you’ve ever had this situation. But if you’ve coached multiple people, like a couple of people on a team who work together, obviously, as coaches, we have integrity, and we don’t share information. But it’s interesting to hear different points of view of the same problem from people. So I’ll give you an example without breaking any confidentiality or anything. So I was working with a group of executives, and one executive said, This person doesn’t appreciate me, like this other executive doesn’t appreciate the work that I do all the hours I put in. The other executive said, I only give praise to people who are like outside of my inner circle. So the praise to the people in the inner circle, I can be tough with them, because they know that I have their best, their best intentions at heart. One part of this was cultural. So that’s a lens we have to think about. But it’s so interesting how this little moment, this event, two people can read it so differently, right? So that’s how we have those miscommunications. And without being brave, or using our courage, or using our emotional intelligence, I think it’s hard to have those conversations. Have you experienced that?

Aaron Lee 11:32
Absolutely. All the time? Wouldn’t it help if the two of you just talked maybe. But there’s a psychological component that I’ve looked into, and our psychologists call it the self serving bias that we believe our way is the right way, the only right way, and we’re so firmly rooted in that viewpoint. I mean, we talked before we started recording about geography and the country and so many different perspectives on which team is best, which school is best. And that’s even part of it. Like, how could you possibly think some other way? How could you possibly think that that team is better, and that’s at the heart of this human mental dynamic we have, that we have to overcome, to some extent, to be more effective leaders.

Diana Lowe 12:21
And I see that with the younger generations, I love the line of work that I do, in the sense that if outside of blue light are outside of the executive coaching I do or the training, and I’m sure you feel the same way, if you get a diet, a media diet of all the stories, if you get an internet diet of all the stories coming in, it’s easy believe that a lot of bad stuff is happening, and no good stuff is happening. But every day, I get to see leaders trying leaders trying to say like, How can I see it from this person’s point of view? Like, what do I need to dig into myself? So I see a lot of good thing done in the world. And it is taking its time because it’s a compound effect, right? So every day we work a little a little and over time, people are changing. I love that. Do you see that too?

Aaron Lee 13:07
Oh, yes. One of the things I’ve noticed in myself is based on my media diet, what I’m reading what I’m paying attention to, I walk into a room and I’m genuinely surprised how many times I mentioned something, or like, Oh, I haven’t heard about that. And internally, I’m thinking, how have you not heard about this? It’s everywhere. But it’s not everywhere. It’s everywhere, from my perspective. And so, you know, that plays out a lot of times in a lot of situations with leaders is oh, I said something or I thought something or this executive, you were just referencing my people know this? Well, just because you thought it or you in 10, it doesn’t mean it’s actually received that way.

Diana Lowe 13:51
That’s right, because the information is has its own life. So the two people are somewhere the side of this information, and they take what they can from their filters. And I think that’s the beautiful thing that we’re really seeing about coaching in general, is that a lot of people are finally saying, like, what’s mine to work on? And what is my work to do here? And I think we’re making it better for future generations. I really do. In my heart of hearts. I believe that because we’re not creating leaders who are they have to care about people. That’s where we’re going. In fact, I heard this I was watching a video in a meeting yesterday. And in Japan, it was face focused on Japan. And they were talking about how to engage the youth. And it was saying the youth in Japan at this moment, they feel like they’re so lied to all the time. That truth is number one thing they need to know. Like they need to know like what is true about this, because they’re being served so many ads. It feels like it’s all alive. And I thought that was interesting. I’m sure that is the case in this country as well, but I don’t have the information to back that up.

Aaron Lee 14:59
So An interesting thought, I think along those lines, it’s something I think about often that we have this pendulum that swung. And so often people say, Oh, if only we could go back to whatever go back to. However, things were in the good old days, whatever the good old days were today in the good old days. Right? And I think somewhere, you know, we’ve advanced so far, technologically that we see things digitally. We’re scrolling, scrolling up swiping left swiping, right, whatever we’re doing digitally. But there’s a human, a human relational dynamic, that it’s even beyond generations, I think, because any generation does this, whether they’re sitting in front of a TV device, every generation is doing this and having their own tunnel vision. So how are we breaking outside of that, and really getting to the point of having true, honest, impactful, influential relationships with other human beings. And that, I think, to your point about young people in Japan, and you’re right, probably globally, it’s in those relationships, where you do find trust and truth, but probably not from some mass media, outside source. And so it’s a discerning that we have to do to figure out what world are we operating in? Who are we trusting? Who are we paying attention to, with so many things flying at us?

Diana Lowe 16:31
So I think like, one part of that is like the media diet, and what we put in our body and what we put in our mind. And if we read triggers in the news that make us emotional, but not necessarily in a good way, I think that is fine with balance, right. And I don’t know the numbers off the top of my head. But I want to say because I study positive psychology. So we know from research, that if you have one negative incident, I don’t know this exactly off the top of my head. So feel free to google it, look it up. For every one negative incident, I believe we need six to nine positive to balance that out. So I see this, especially with generations that watch the news, because that’s where they got their source. I like my grandma who’s 92, she’s, Oh, you don’t have a TV, you don’t watch the news. So you don’t know what’s happening. And she doesn’t also understand that the phone, it’s like the TV. So I get the news. But what she has to tell me is negative, very rarely positive. So I think it’s really important that we feed our positive side, it’s not just to be toxically positive. It’s not just to think of like, oh, but it’s really about broadening and building the way we think. So when we have a difficult time, then we can access those creative channels to solve the problem. And that I think, as I study more, and as I read more, that’s really where we’re headed. One of the things that you’d asked me to talk about trends. And what I noticed is that the younger generations, they’re going to come into the workforce with money. And they don’t need to say because of money. I mean, it helps, of course, but I suspect when my daughters are going to go into the workforce, they’ll probably have one or two, like a YouTube channel or something that feeds them. So how do we keep them engaged? That’s through humanity through the heart, doing good work doing right by people and planet? So I think we’re going, you

Aaron Lee 18:25
mentioned a little bit ago that we’re entering into this new, a new phase, a new season, it’s even greater than a generation, it’s a new age. I mean, moving from the Industrial Age to the digital age, and now post COVID. What does this world look like? What does the world need? In your work with coaching leaders working with leaders and executives? What are you seeing them as it relates to how do we prepare for what’s ahead?

Diana Lowe 18:56
For my world? I see it from a very specific lens, because my lens and what I mostly work on in the world of emotions, some people there’s a thought out there that sounds like a you can’t trust your emotions. Well, of course, of course, you could say that, but also emotions hold a lot of information for us. So a lot of the work that I do with leaders is embracing the uncertainty. So how do I use my emotions? Or how do I harness the feelings that I’m having? worry, anxiety, so many people we work with today have depression? That’s a very normal, or I should say common diagnosis for most people. So how do I work through these feelings and not let them spiral me out of control, or not let them trigger me at work. So I start feeling things. And then the past. You know, you talked about we’re going from this paradigm of the Industrial Age to the Information Age. I mean, I really think our biggest thing next is the AI age. sight where you can’t replace humans. You can find ways like little slivers to help the technology cultivate what we’re trying to do, but common humanity, that’s something that’s irreplaceable. So really, when I’m working with leaders, we look at what is this anxiety tell you, you need to prepare for? What information do we need to listen to? Because our emotions are really valuable. And for so long, I discounted my emotions. And that’s where it led me to clinical depression because I was like, no, no, no, I’m fine. No, no, I’m fine. But research to study show that people with low emotional granularity, which means they can’t specifically pinpoint their emotions with words, they tend to have higher incidences of mental health conditions or crises. So the more emotionally intelligent we can be. And the more we can say, you know, I’m feeling jealous, or I’m really resentful. I didn’t get that. That’s very different from an emotion such as disappointment, or anger. They’re all really important. So that’s really what I focus on with the people that I work with. How can they use that information so that when we’re not working together, they can still use it

Aaron Lee 21:15
back on episode 22. And I’ve highlighted this a few times since that episode, Jeremy Kubitschek talked about his new book, The Peace Index. And one of the things that he introduced in chapter one, right from the get go was gallops research on the global rise of sadness, and they study happiness. But the inverse of that sadness is at its highest levels globally. And they published a book about this blind spot that goes into the research of their happiness study. And what’s interesting is they describe their research study, and how there’s such a gap. In most research, the most research leans towards educated, highly educated populations. In certain countries. This happiness study is truly global, and speaks to people in every country, every culture, every class within a country. And so it is truly a global study. And what’s interesting is, in this study, they have identified five factors of happiness. The five factors that drive happiness, spoiler alert, it’s not just money, I think it has nothing to do with money. Honestly, money is one of the five because you got to put food on the table and

Diana Lowe 22:31
you can afford certain things right? So it affords housing, close the basics, right car if you need it, but I’m sure 100% Did it say connection? human connection?

Aaron Lee 22:43
Yes, people? Any other guesses?

Diana Lowe 22:45
Okay. So I would think it would say being in touch with nature, or like having a commune with nature or something.

Aaron Lee 22:53
Yeah. Along that realm place. So everything related to geography and place and, and your personal interests. So from home to community, but the nature around you. Yep. Movement. Was that one of them? Encompassing in personal health? So everything related to physical, mental, spiritual health?

Diana Lowe 23:13
Yep. And then so there’s one more Yep. Okay. So connection to spiritual or connectedness to the greater.

Aaron Lee 23:22
I think they encompass that. I know that Peace Index encompasses that in personal health. So physical, mental, spiritual, I’ll help you out here. The last one is purpose. Are you living out your personal purpose? And so what’s interesting is watching people wrestle with that, and just be able to put a name on, I don’t know what it’s like in Phoenix. But here in the mid Atlantic, we’re close enough to the south, as I say that people have a little bit of southern nice in them. So you ask somebody on the street or in the office at the early part of the day, Hey, how’s it going? And everybody’s like, Oh, good, great, nice. Really, what does that mean? And so the PCE index, and looking at these five factors, as Gallup says, helps you get down to a granular, granular level of what is actually going on for you, and is anything external to you, impacting your current state of well being. And if something is impacting you, let’s see what concrete tangible next steps we can take to get back on track.

Diana Lowe 24:30
I love that. And I think that’s actually exactly why I study positive psychology that the human flourishing. And that makes sense because we see that we’re working on interventions to help with happiness. But I believe and I don’t know because I haven’t read this book, but I believe the sadness, the rise in sadness has to do with and I’m sure that they can correlate this with social media and the internet, because we are more disconnected physically like we’re not with each other, which makes us happy. And when you see teenagers together, they sit on their phone and they do not talk to each other. I don’t know if you remember, there was a time, you didn’t have a phone. So you called up said, Hey, I’m going to meet you somewhere, hopefully you met them because you didn’t have a phone, and you would sit and you talk to them in person. And so we can see that a little bit and Europe where people are still like meeting and connecting, because of the structures of having more social and how things are designed. But really, there is such a disconnectedness of having people around teenagers just to like, support them and say, like, hey, it’s hard to be a kid. It’s hard to be a kid anytime in history. So just to have those like tangible social structures. So I can see it because there’s a loneliness epidemic, right? And we know just from research that loneliness, can you believe this is equivalent, the feeling of loneliness is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, it’s like 15, or 20. So forgive me, if my numbers are off, and you’re listening, and you Googled it, and you’re like, right, I’m gonna, this is off. But we know that that has a detrimental effect to our health. So it does not surprise me. And that’s why I’m interested in helping remote and hybrid workplaces flourish, because I think that’s where the opportunity is for us to really engage with culture again, or like engage with each other, again, not with culture with each other.

Aaron Lee 26:21
I hear that a lot in remote workplaces. Or people will say we can’t be remote because we need to be together. How are you seeing remote teams overcome that and develop those relational connections?

Diana Lowe 26:37
Well, a big part of it is getting together in person, I heard one person that I worked with, they said, I love stepping in to a big bold calendar each year, that’s always really stuck with me, because this person planned big bold trips that they were going to do for the following year. And that’s exactly what a lot of companies who are remote, that’s what they do. They say, okay, in so many weeks, we’re going to meet here. Now, to be fair, you do have to have a budget, right. So if you’re a smaller company, that might be more difficult. But finding time to foster human relationships is key. And if a person is not human centric, if they’re more task centric, like I got to get stuff done, it’s the awareness that I am tasked centric, and I do have to sit down and spend some time nurturing relationships, but it’s for the benefit of themselves and others. So what I see companies doing is really, when they have like town halls, they do it in a place where they can all get together, or they have company meetings, they really try to meet in person. And that to me keeps that connectedness. That’s what I’m saying.

Aaron Lee 27:39
So an entrepreneur last week, post a photo from a retreat with his fully virtual team, and they had all gotten together. And I think that’s a great opportunity. Because you can, it gives people something to look forward to, it gives you a chance to reconnect and recharge and engage. And even though it’s not every day, every week, every month, it gives you that injection of the human side of things that allows you to then sail through the next season until you come back again. And I think that’s such an exciting opportunity for remote teams to gather near the beach, in the mountains in a city somewhere fun, and a change of pace and be together and still have that opportunity to connect on a human level, and not

Diana Lowe 28:27
talk about work. Because this is what I’m seeing, especially with the layoffs, and I’ve experienced this myself firsthand is to remember a part of happiness as we’re whole people. So you and I might do this, we might be passionate about this. But if this goes away tomorrow, it’s not our identity. And when you work for a company for a very long time, and then you’re laid off or a restructuring happens, you can there’s an opportunity to really examine identity, because we’re so much more than this. You’re so much more than a father, you’re so much more than a teacher, and it’s intangible the amount of value you personally add. And for everybody listening, there’s so much more than the breadwinner in the house or the caretaker, there’s so much for us to develop. That’s why I think as leaders as we talk about this, it’s important for our human development, for human nature to constantly be challenging ourselves with new ways of seeing ourselves because it’s so hurtful. And I did this to myself in my past. I identified as this is me. And then when that went away, I went who am I? And that is the worst feeling to be walking, for me at least to be walking around this world going. Am I like, what am I doing here? And that’s where purpose I would imagine comes in. Absolutely. You are giving voice to so many amazing people and doing great work in this world. Do you feel like your purpose is within your work? Am I allowed to ask you questions?

Aaron Lee 29:55
Yes, come on, turn the tables. I actually did that with a friend. One of my neighbors had As a big time podcast on personal finance, and I said, Hey, your co host just stepped down. Why don’t I come on your show? But instead of you interviewing me, because who am I to talk personal finance? Why don’t I interview you? Because nobody’s done that in a while. So we did. And it was a lot of fun. Oh, fine, fine. Yeah, I think that’s a journey that I’ve been on. And every time I talk about this, it’s really when I talk about it that I reflect on it from 16 on, I had a one track mind of here’s where I want to go. And I wanted to have that career title. And I had this idea of what that would be. And then my oldest was born. And that shifted a lot for me, and it continues to shift a lot for us, as I know it does for you. And so as I went through, it was probably a five or six year, maybe seven year journey, maybe even longer than that, maybe close to 10 years. And she’s only 11.

Diana Lowe 31:01
I believe that yeah, that changes you. It breaks your paradigm. Yes, it’s a good thing.

Aaron Lee 31:06
Okay. And so it sent me on a quest to explore and figure out. And I finally feel that I had a conversation with a leader this morning, who’s similar life stage or age, about just how much we think we know earlier in our careers, how much we don’t know still how much we don’t know that. I won’t hide it. I’ll be 40 next year. I think he said, it’ll be 40 this year, at that point that we’re looking at, where do we go next? What do we not know, still, and I think the conversation he and I had this morning, among other things was, he has had the identity title role all in one. But a significant part of that is a skill set that he really loves. And what he’s working on now is how does he harness that skill set as part of his identity, and separate that from the role and be able to fulfill that in multiple roles, that also frees him or man, secret identity, if I told you his career, which just for confidentiality, I won’t, he’s pretty close to Superman, awesome. But he’s already doing so many of the things that you and I coach leaders to do, just because he’s built those skills along the way. And so for him identifying that as his purpose, I think, for me being on a similar journey, separating that purpose from title and having my purpose, regardless of title, regardless of brand, because I will probably exist far longer than the new generation leader will, you’ll probably exist far longer than blue light leadership will.

Diana Lowe 32:48
I hope so. I hope so that is my biggest hope. Because we’re lucky if we can grow old, we are very lucky if we can grow. Not many people get that opportunity. So yeah, I agree with you.

Aaron Lee 32:59
But even beyond that, our kids, our kids are not going to carry on the legacy of our businesses. They’re going to carry on legacy from our investment. And so there’s a personal side to that that. Am I perfect? No, have I gotten it all figured out? Far from it. But that’s where I’m thinking and headed on a personal level? I know that’s a wide ranging answer to your question on my podcast, but

Diana Lowe 33:26
no, but I love it. I think so many people are purposeless, not in a bad way, I think, to sit down and take time and take stock. It’s off the wheel, that hamster wheel that when we wake up, we do the kids run, or maybe we don’t have kids, maybe we wake up and just get on emails. So like it’s far off of that. And that’s why it’s something that when it hits you, it really hits you deep. And that usually happens in a huge transition in your life. Maybe a parent passes, maybe a child passes and you think like, but I was a mother, I was a father and I’m not that but you’re not, you’re something so much bigger. And also your life is it your life has purpose like everybody has. This was my deep belief. Everybody has a unique purpose and mission in life. And nobody can do your mission only you can do your mission. And only you know what that is. And typically your mission is the most difficult thing you have to overcome. That is your mission in the moment. And so if for me when I lost everything that I held so dearly, in this huge transition, because that happened right before I had my baby. Like months before I had my baby, I lost everything I lost. That’s something you and I can talk about over a wine or a beer another time, but I just I lost everything. Then I was like who am I? And then from that point on I’ve constantly thought about like, Well, who am I am What do I bring what? And the truth of the matter is I’m here to bring happiness. I know that and so it doesn’t matter if I’m a baker or a financial analyst or the core of me and why I believe Now that I’m here, my purpose is to help people become happy. And turn means that I need to help myself become happy because you can’t be a Krabby Patty, when you’re sick, other people will be happy. So I think it’s beautiful that you’re on this journey. And I think it’s the hardest, most rewarding journey that we can be on.

Aaron Lee 35:18
And it’s an exciting one, as well. I said to this guy this morning, I asked him if he started to describe some of that process he had gone through and I said, How did you take these steps? How did you know this was the step to take, and he didn’t necessarily have a guide on the journey. But he just set out and was intentional. And now he is working on investing that forward, pay that forward to someone else, and maybe lots of other people. So for people looking for that person, that conversation, if they’re ready to lean into that transition, and continue that conversation with you, what’s the best way for listeners to connect with you and follow along with your work?

Diana Lowe 36:02
Oh, thank you. I am burgeoning positive psychologists. So I mean, I’m getting my master’s right now in coaching, applied positive psychology. And I’m really mostly on LinkedIn. So I put a lot of the things that I learned about positive psychology, how we become become happier. And I think the key to this, like we talked about earlier is also looking at the other range of emotions, because all emotions are information. So they’re not good or bad. So it’s not like just because you’re angry, angry is vital. It’s a vital emotion. When used well, Martin Luther King got angry, Nelson Mandela, people who change the world, they got angry, and they used it for positive force. So I would say they can always see me on LinkedIn. I’m Diana Ehlo, on LinkedIn, they can check me out on my website, WWE light leadership.com. And also I’m going to be starting to do LinkedIn lives this month, and going into next month, and just talking about how we can engage our emotional intelligence and what that means in your workplace what that means in your life. And I do have I believe, had some downloads on my website so they can go there and check out how to work on their emotional intelligence.

Aaron Lee 37:11
Awesome. Well, we will link to all that in the show notes at New Generation leader dot F M. All right, Dana, hotseat question. One last question. Okay, I’m ready. If you were to go back in your career, what do you wish you had learned earlier? The, you know, now,

Diana Lowe 37:27
to trust myself, I wish that somebody would have just looked me straight in the eye, probably me and just said, You know what, I call it like washing machine training. Like you go through all of these really tough trials and things. But at the end of the day, all of those really difficult times have created so much purpose in my life. So trust myself, and I don’t think that I gave my gut enough of that didn’t trust it enough. So yeah, trust yourself. Awesome.

Aaron Lee 37:55
Well, thanks so much for a great conversation. I say this, I think at the end of every episode, but it is truly genuine. I really enjoyed our conversation. I feel like we covered a lot of great ground, we could have gotten so much deeper on so many things. So we’ll continue that conversation sometime.

Diana Lowe 38:13
Thank you so much for having me. I’ve loved learning about the new generation leader. I’ve loved learning about how you serve how you help people. So thank you. Awesome.

Aaron Lee 38:22
Thanks for listening to the new generation leader podcast. Subscribe today on your favorite podcasting platform, ready to solve your leadership crisis? Download the show notes and unlock your true leadership potential at New Generation leader.com/podcast. Thanks for listening today. We look forward to seeing you next time on the new generation leader podcast